paranoia

don't make paranoia your life partner,
she is very deceptive and demanding,
and she'll keep you all to herself...

no clean underwear!

i can't really go out on today because i don't have clean underwear. i've just washed all of them some hours ago and they are still drying.

i can't put this on facebook either because its just too embarrassing. but i'm putting it here because i think its funny and i want to remember it.

so all i can do is go for a swim. good thing the only thing she can do right now as well is swim.

the return

somewhere in the world, in a ranch overlooking a vast green field, a horse gives birth. a foal is born, with pale white coat and a little stubble on its crown. the stable keep mutters to his wife, "what is that?". he leans closer for a better look, cleans it, and realizes, "its a little horn!"

somewhere else in the world, deep in the ocean, a slumbering master awakes after a decade of millennia. it slowly stirs the lifeless floor bed, dislodging rocks and boulders on the nearby incline as it uncoils its scaly serpentine body. it stretches its teeth filled maw, huge lungs taking in the ocean and it coughs out a ball of fire. claws dig into the ground, it thrusts itself upward in a single powerful motion and glides away like a giant eel.

somewhere else in the world, a man experiences a sudden blinding pain on his shoulder blades. his hair turns pale as he writhes on the floor of his apartment. his back is on fire, there is blood on his shirt and then on the carpet. his hair turns a luminous golden hue, its glow casts moving shadows on the walls. the man screams, and his back tears, and folds of skin on bone bursts out. the pain has subsided but he is exhausted, his halo lights up the room, and feathers start to sprout on his wings.

ten years ago, i would have thought this was amazing and beautiful. if it were not for the faceless man who spoke to me through my screen one night, i would have remained naive. my computer was not even turned on but there he was, a silhouette against a bright white backdrop on my screen. there was no introduction, just a jarring urgent message.

"the world as you know it will not be the same, you have been selected to join a cadre of agents that champions our cause for order, reason and technology.
there are dark times ahead, a war is brewing, the age of chaos is upon us. magic has returned to our world..."

but i'm a little busy right now, i'll have to tell you the rest some other time. its time i showed this stinking gargoyle who is the boss... -P

again and again and again...

the baby wants attention, he wails, his mother tends to him, feeds him and thus he is satiated
the boy wants joy, he pesters his father for toys, he plays with his friends and thus he is satisfied
the teenager wants freedom, he rebels, he takes his chances carelessly and thus he is released
the graduate wants success, he works on his career, he strives, he climbs and thus he is rewarded
the man wants stability, he seeks, he struts, he promises, he loves and thus he is established
the husband wants responsibility, he plans, he has offspring, he sacrifices and thus he is propagated
the old wants legacy, he shares, he gives, he tells tales, he advices and thus he is remembered
the dying desires life, he regrets, he seeks counsel, he craves endlessly and thus he is reborn-ed

red polka dotted tissue

white piece of tissue
hold against a wound
to soak red drops
turn it, fold it
hold it there again
repeat until it stops

constant in flux

i deeply enjoy a slow drive on the highway on a saturday morning,
there is no traffic, its bright but cool, conditions are perfect,
there is just the road ahead and you know where you're going,
and where it branches, you know where that leads to as well,
and there is no rush because tomorrow is not a monday.

i must accept that time goes by, soon its sunday and then monday,
the roads get crowded, its hot and sweaty, simply uncomfortable,
ahead traffic stands still, everybody has the same destination,
and where the route is shorter, you know its equally contested,
but surely, there will be another saturday, as sure as a monday.

SAMYUTTA NIKAYA

...
The slayer gets a slayer in his turn;
The conqueror gets one who conquers him;
The abuser wins abuse, the annoyer frets.
Thus by the evolution of the deed,
A man who spoils is spoiled in his turn.

~ translated by SIR ROBERT CHALMERS